Antonia Bowring: 0:00

In a mini way, in a micro way, what you're doing through kind of being real and treating people, you're creating an in group, right? You're creating an in group with that other person you're inviting them in to be part of something with you, which means they are immediately more positively predisposed to work with you.

Craig Pretzinger: 0:22

Insurance dudes are on a mission to escape big hiccup by our agencies.

Jason Feltman: 0:28

How? by uncovering the secrets to creating a predictable, consistent, and profitable agency Sales Machine.

Craig Pretzinger: 0:36

Hi, I'm Craig Pretzinger.

Jason Feltman: 0:37

I am Jason Feldman. We are agents. We are insurances.

Antonia Bowring: 0:44

I would say that I have an addictive personality, which not for everything, like, you know, weed and stuff like that doesn't, you know, I know some people there just have more of a biological, like a physiological pull to certain things, right. But I think if I'm really really really honest, what I replaced drinking with partially not fully is work. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 100 hours, I work, I work a lot more. And that was kind of how I transitioned to not working in a way. I can remember thinking, Oh, well, if I have a drink, then I won't work for like wondering okay to come a couple more. I won't work for the rest of the night. It was almost like giving myself permission to turn off. Yeah. Yep. And now, I don't. It's kind of interesting to say this out loud. I don't turn off the work as easily. Yeah. Yeah. But But I will say and I just said this on the podcast I was on earlier. Today or yesterday. If someone said to me, what is the number one recommendation you have to anyone with ADHD? Who let's assume they have a diagnosis? Putting aside medication? Because that's, I think that's a different topic. I would say what would be your number one recommendation? I'll tell you mine. You can only give one? Yeah. Are you going to give advice? Like, here's the one thing I recommend you do? Since you have ADHD? What would it be?

Craig Pretzinger: 2:25

I would, I would say that you need to research everything, you can't learn everything about it. You'll be interested in it, because you'll focus on it. And the act

Jason Feltman: 2:35

of that is exactly ADHD, right? Like every, like research expert, I would say. I would definitely say like, fill that time fill that void. Like that numbing. Like it's a superpower. It like and I know you said that earlier. But like, it really is a candy. If it's funneled right in into everything good. I like that actions of the good of what you whatever you want to be, do the actions of that type of person and funnel all of that psychotic, crazy stuff in your head into that. So if it's working out researching, putting time into your business, like there was for me when I got sober, I went 1,000% into business and I did it so much that it was like a compulsive thing. But you know what, it was a lot better to do that at that time. And it netted a great result for me. And then it virtually gave me margin to be able to work on other things and then pull back from that. But like dude funneling into good stuff. It's not bad stuff.

Antonia Bowring: 3:39

Yeah, I think those are both great answers. I would say. I think I answered, I'm answering it a little bit differently. If I if I could give one piece of advice. It would be exercise every day. Yeah. I noticed a huge difference if I don't exercise and and interestingly, have you ever heard of Tracy Otsuka has ADHD for badass women? No smart ass women. That's your podcast. And she and I were talking about it. And when I was a guest on her show, and she said, I have to exercise first thing in the morning in order to like get centered. And yep, not me. i That's my best work time. Right? Early, like, seven to 10 is when my brain is just roof. That's the best time to do thinking work. But I need the exercise every day. Almost like keep the engine humming. Yep, in here. I don't need it to lift off in the morning. But I need it to regulate. Yeah, yeah.

Jason Feltman: 4:51

100% agree with that. Yeah, I started working out so when I quit drinking, I started working out and completely replace the drinking With working and working out, and I was going back to school full time, I was trying to get my, my BA. And I was going to school full time and I was working in the restaurant industry and I was working more than full time during the week. And then I also had two kids working on a third and eventually is the first man to have to so but like I remember. So the last time I drank, I just saw the picture. It was like eight or nine years ago, it was a glass of wine. And I was down to like only one glass of wine or two glasses of wine like down to that much. But like I had this realization, I was like, I still don't feel 100% The next day. I said like if I'm going to do all this stuff, I cannot not feel 100% Because at this point, I am more than at least 16 hours of work a day. So I need to every minute of that day, I need to be firing on all cylinders. And it was the working out that got me through that. Then I backed off of working out at one point and then I threw out my I threw out my back because I was still operating like I was working. Ever since then. I've been working out since that little section of not working out because yeah, you get through your day in it helps you regulate like everything else. Yeah,

Antonia Bowring: 6:18

totally. Yeah.

Craig Pretzinger: 6:21

I want to change my answer. Mine was terrible.

Jason Feltman: 6:24

What's your answer?

Craig Pretzinger: 6:25

It's develop a mindfulness practice, right. I know, it's a buzzword. But but but like I was introduced to meditation, right? When I when I the in the first week that I stopped drinking, you know, I went somewhere and all that. But that was a that's been a game changer for me. And I know that when I don't if I don't meditate. It's a different Craig that shows up. Right? I mean, Jason knows it. Like, you know, you can tell when his frantic Crazy Craig or it's or it's chilled out, meditated, Craig. And it can be as quick as five minutes, which is so It's so insane, that everybody doesn't meditate every single day, multiple times a day, like five minutes. And it's brilliant. All you have to do is breathe and focus on your breath and just become present. Yeah,

Antonia Bowring: 7:12

no, I have a very consistent meditation practice. And I also am like super non judgy. About apps and all that stuff's there's some people who are very judgy about using apps. But I'll tell you who I love. Sam Harris's waking up. He's

Craig Pretzinger: 7:33

cool. Samsung. Yeah.

Antonia Bowring: 7:35

Yeah.

Craig Pretzinger: 7:36

And I did get over his voice and it kind of bothered me a little bit. Oh, really? But no, I like him. Yes, he

Antonia Bowring: 7:42

has an introductory course. 28 days. Yeah. Which, by the way, if either of you want to take it? I can access for free because I'm now a subscriber. And no, and I I redo it. I read do that into a course about once a year. Wow. And, and if you want to go even further, like the what do you? What's that word? Like the triumph for it? Is that a word? It means threes of triangle. Andrew Huberman Roche, roll three ad. O. T. Ad. No, it's Ferris Rich Roll and Andrew Huber. But that's it. That's like, humor is awesome. I well, he has an episode from several months ago now. Of Sam Harris on talking about meditation. It's two hours long. And it is worth every minute. 1.5 speed. Every single 1.5 speed. Oh, yeah.

Jason Feltman: 8:48

I like to do

Craig Pretzinger: 8:49

if I had enough coffee.

Antonia Bowring: 8:51

It's really good. He said, it's not like, you know, that image of you meditate and you watch the cloud goes, clouds go by? Well, he said, You know, it's not like you're watching the river go by you are the river. Right? And, like, it's such a brilliant. It's really good. I really recommend it. Yeah, I love that. And then you can go do a cold plunge drinking athletic greens, before you do psychedelics, because those guys talk. Well,

Craig Pretzinger: 9:26

we're not gonna get into all that. But

Jason Feltman: 9:29

it's to talk about work. Yeah. Dude, by the way, this entire interview is clearly we all have ADHD. Because

Craig Pretzinger: 9:37

what happens if we, if we have we add a third? Yeah,

Jason Feltman: 9:42

I will say this, going back to the to the 1.5 times. So like, I'll listen to almost anything at two times. Right?

Antonia Bowring: 9:50

And I can't do that. I didn't need to

Jason Feltman: 9:54

do 2.5 And then two becomes easy. You know what I mean? Like just regulate yourself. Oh, wow. Yeah, you do that you you work backwards. Yeah, like, I'll do that you do that and you're, you're thinking this is psychotic, but you catch up to it. And you're like I barely understand and then you go backwards. You're like, oh, this is easy now.

Antonia Bowring: 10:16

Oh, I might try that. Aye. Aye. Aye listened to one podcast. I don't listen to it that much anymore. The daily, New York Times. And I only listened to it at 1.5. And one day, I happened to hear it on one. And I was like, What is wrong with him? Yeah, he's, he's like in slow motion. Yeah.

Jason Feltman: 10:38

It's funny, because I'll catch myself. So I listen to things at two times speed. And then I'll be doing something, right. And then all of a sudden, things in the real world start getting chaotic. But I'm listening to this thing really fast. And all of a sudden, I'm like, Ah, and I'm like, take it off. Like I have to, like, eject from it because it's like, too much. But there is a good there's a good level of where it's not too much. Like

Craig Pretzinger: 11:03

opposite of meditating. Totally.

Antonia Bowring: 11:07

The opposite. Well, yeah, like multitasking. Mono tasking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is. I personally am a big believer in multitasking. But I'm trying not to do it when I talk to people. Yeah, yeah. That's when it matters, right?

Jason Feltman: 11:26

Yeah. And I would say to like, like, I think, for us with ADHD, I think you you need that sometimes, right? But there are times that it's like, okay, I need to focus on this one thing. So I'm just gonna go hog wild, and fast. And then you like, when you need to get that project done? Or those emails or you know, whatever?

Antonia Bowring: 11:48

Yeah. Well, I mean, to sort of, say something semi serious. I really think of ADHD. This is, I think, in framework as kind of the profound and the practical, and the profound is some of the stuff we've talked about re retelling reframing your narrative, we retelling your story, you know, looking back and like rewriting, oh, I'm not a loser. It's just my brain is wired different. And, and kind of, for me getting the diagnosis was such a relief. And, yeah, and, and I felt equipped to make changes, you know, like, oh, that's, it wasn't an excuse. It was information, that identity responsibility to act on. So there's this, like, what I would call like this whole profound piece. Yeah. And then there is like, we beat ourselves up a lot. And then there is what I would just say the practical, you got to pay the taxes, you got to do the laundry, you got to get the kids to baseball practice on time, right. And you kind of like, that's why ADHD coaching and a lot of ways like executive function coaching is really the practical, which is great. And sometimes the coaches are too, oh, let's retell your story and blah, blah, blah. But you need both, because they both build your confidence, like letting go of all this shame and shame. But you also need scaffolding, my favorite word to get stuff done. Because that becomes a habit loop that really builds you up.

Jason Feltman: 13:34

Yeah, isn't it funny, like the frame is so interesting. So society came up with the way that we learn, right? Which is not for us. It's for the muggles out there for the other people. And, and because we don't fit into that box, it's like, you know, we're pushed out, we're told that we're doing things wrong or whatever.

Craig Pretzinger: 13:56

Why don't we get our own bathroom? But then it's like, I don't know if you can say that. It's

Jason Feltman: 14:02

it's like, I love it. It's like, but it's like, reframing you like what if, you know now I look at it. Like, I truly look at like, I have a superpower. So I operate like I do you know what I mean? Yeah. And I don't think yeah, I'm, like, proud to not be like other people. I tell my kids that said, You guys are not like other people. You know, it's

Craig Pretzinger: 14:24

almost like there's an operating manual, like an instruction manual that was handed out to everybody when they were born. And yeah, they gave us the wrong one. And they

Jason Feltman: 14:31

told us they were not the right. Yeah, right. Like you're using.

Craig Pretzinger: 14:36

These instructions don't work wrong. I'm following these sources. They don't work. And I can't read them and then I throw them away. It's

Jason Feltman: 14:43

all man made. Right? So who gets this decide that that was the right manual and the manual that was for me is the wrong one, just because we're the minority. Right. We're the minority in this situation. So and I think that that becomes really interesting, especially let's bring it back to like our teams and coaching our staff. If and everything else, you know, whatever frame we put them in, really becomes the reality. Right and the frames that they believe, like, so like, coaching our agencies and having our teams work together, it's it's really important to not do kind of that framing in the wrong way. And then having them start to believe these things that, you know that they, they're not good at this and they can't do this. And then next thing you know, you have an office full of people that are just feeling like crap. And then they operate like crap. Well,

Antonia Bowring: 15:41

in my book, which are we ever going to talk?

Craig Pretzinger: 15:47

In my book, squeaky wheel gets the guest agree. Yeah.

Antonia Bowring: 15:52

There's a framework. And by the way, have you read the book? Steal Like an Artist? No, oh, my God, you've got to do like an artist. Yeah. It's so brilliant. And it's, by the way, like a comic novel, so you not novel, you know, a lot of graphics, you'll read it in like, minutes. It's good for ADHD ears. And oh, it's so brilliant. And the basically, the point is, there aren't really new ideas, just you can steal old ideas, and then make them your own and attribute and do all this. And it's such a beautiful book. Well, that's kind of what my whole book is. And there's one framework in it about how to build a cohesive team. And, you know, it really is so critically important. Like, for me, the more I coach, and the data shows it to the more I coach skills, yeah, skills are important. But it's the basis of everything is that we can see each other as humans. And when we can see each other as humans, we can say, that creates trust, that creates psychological safety, which then means we can move faster, we can make decisions faster, we can give inputs and insights each way, because there's a safety net. And we can all be more successful. I love it. So true. Yeah, it's

Jason Feltman: 17:33

hard to do that. But like, you definitely need to be conscious of that. And we were just talking to somebody about something along the same lines. I remember thinking, you know, we teach our sales team. And it was a horrible analogy, but it's like it connects in my brain

Craig Pretzinger: 17:51

to be so hard on yourself. Yeah.

Jason Feltman: 17:53

It's like, when you get on when you when our team gets on the phone, to make a call for you know, for insurance, sales or whatever, all of a sudden, they start sounding like a telemarketer. They don't sound like humans, not like talking to your friend. So we always say, dude, like, how do you talk to your friend, right? Talk to other people that way, talk to our clients that way, because essentially, they're our friends, right? We're all on the same team. It's also kind of like when you get on camera, like, we'll record YouTube videos or something. And all of a sudden, you get on camera, and you start talking like this person I

Antonia Bowring: 18:26

know. Right? Like, what the hell am I doing? Yes,

Jason Feltman: 18:31

what are we doing? And we do that, in so many different areas of our life, we have a personality that we think we need to be we show up as that we don't show up as people. And it sounds like it's like re like breaking down the walls of every different area in our life, that we don't show up like people, we're not treating people like people, like, we kind of have to let the guard down and just be ourselves and treat people for you know,

Antonia Bowring: 18:58

well, and you're making also an important, like neuroscience point, which is, what you want to do is in a mini way in a micro way what you're doing through kind of being real and treating people, you're creating an in group, right? You're creating an in group with that other person you're inviting them in to be part of something with you, which means they are immediately more positively predisposed to work with you to problem solve with you. Because you created like common common threads, you know, you you're weaving a common threads with each other. And that builds trust, and that builds feeling. Oh, we're in this together. Like that's what the brain does. I

Jason Feltman: 19:53

love it. So, I know we've gone in a few different directions today. Oh, a couple of witches. Fun, which is super fun. This is awesome. What did we not talk about that we need to discuss?

Antonia Bowring: 20:07

Okay, well, yeah, oh, the book? Well, we know let me just say this I wrote this book. Because I would like to see executive coaching democratised because it's really expensive. And only a few people get it. And it's awesome. And it makes a difference. And, you know, you can, it really can be very powerful. But what do you do if either you can't afford it, or you're not ready, or it doesn't fit in your life in some way. So I wrote this book, because I literally use the same 12 frameworks over and over and over, I use other tools as well. But I used one this morning, right out of the book, I and the client had ordered the book and I said, Oh, I'll send you the PDF of that chapter. Because you need it, you're going into mediation tomorrow. And so what it is, is saying, Here, here's my gift for $27. Here's my gift, here are my go to coaching frameworks that I use primarily with C suite folks, but they're evergreen, right? Right. And you can take them, if you are motivated, if you are curious, and on a learning mindset journey, professionally. And personally. You can take these frameworks, and you can take the way I've served them to you with questions and case studies. And you can move quite far forward all on your own. So that's what I really, I want someone to have this on their shelf and say, Oh God, I got to talk to my boss about like, my comp package. Oh, what's up framework about like having a critical conversation? Or oh, man, wait, these guys are fighting on the team. But wait, there's that other framework? It's about like, what cascades down? Oh, yeah. Are we clear about our roles and responsibilities? grippy? It it's it's like a little DIY, friendly reference book that you kind of pick up when you have a need. Love

Jason Feltman: 22:32

it. And that is definitely applicable to any insurance agency owner. It's all it's all the same skills. Some I love it. Yeah.

Antonia Bowring: 22:43

Well, if you're managing people, or you are being managed, right, it's just, it's the same toolkit turned around,

Craig Pretzinger: 22:52

right? Yeah. Yep. Managing Up or managing down. Right. Yeah. Or across

Antonia Bowring: 22:57

or across. fellow agents that

Craig Pretzinger: 23:01

Jason has to manage across shrew. And I'm older. He is like a baby. Well,

Jason Feltman: 23:10

and Tony, how to how to how does people get a hold of you the book, I mean, obviously, the Amazonian website,

Craig Pretzinger: 23:19

English and those last couple sentences.

Antonia Bowring: 23:23

That beast, I have to feed that beast, the Amazon beast. So here's how you get ahold of me. You buy my book, either through my website or on Amazon. I just bought on Amazon. Yep. Oh, will you please leave me a review? Yes, I need reviews. That's the beast I have to fill. It's like shoveling food into the mouth of that.

Craig Pretzinger: 23:48

Why did you bring that up? Because it's a perfect time to ask the listeners to go out and pop a review too. Huh? Oh, please.

Antonia Bowring: 23:54

Oh, yeah. I would just be so happy really? And. Okay, so that's the book. I'm on LinkedIn. Oh, my name my name. Yeah, it's not that cool. Antonio. Bowering. Yep. And then I'm on Instagram, but I don't really pay too much attention to that, but I am. And then I'm on tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, you Bowering 9630 And I have a website where you can leave me messages or see all the articles I've written or to take a little career coaching, like little series of webinars, and that is, by the way, if I was doing my website today, I would do it my name, but I didn't do that. Then it's a B. hyphen. strat. strategies.com. That's a lot of people can't spell strategies anymore. Because people use

Craig Pretzinger: 24:58

the hyphen. Yeah. What can you do?

Antonia Bowring: 25:04

You guys are too much fun. This was way too much fun.

Craig Pretzinger: 25:10

This was awesome. That's like a Rogan episode.

Antonia Bowring: 25:14

This was too much fun.

Craig Pretzinger: 25:16

Well, I'm glad you had so much fun. And we're glad you were here and we're

Antonia Bowring: 25:20

here. Yeah, you you guys are lovely. Really?

Craig Pretzinger: 25:24

You're fantastic. This is awesome. And I think a lot of value for for the listeners too. Yes. There was a babble, but that's okay. Mostly us babbling? Yeah,

Antonia Bowring: 25:33

I babbled a bit too. I've become very good at answering questions with what I want to say and not answering the podcast host question

Craig Pretzinger: 25:42

politician. I do like how you how you, you say, and when are we gonna talk about my book? Yeah,

Antonia Bowring: 25:51

I don't say that on all the podcasts.

Craig Pretzinger: 25:54

You knew your audience.

Antonia Bowring: 25:57

You guys are lovely. Have me back anytime. And I will promise you I'll talk about like something super serious for the insurance industry. Perfect.

Craig Pretzinger: 26:08

Well, they get serious.

Jason Feltman: 26:11

That's what all the carrier's webinars are for.

Antonia Bowring: 26:17

The actuarial science? No, no, I couldn't.

Craig Pretzinger: 26:22

I think we need you to work on your set that you did over at the old phone. Yes, let's get you to do a like a 10 minutes will be our first our first comedy act on the

Jason Feltman: 26:34

show you make fun of insurance agents. I

Craig Pretzinger: 26:36

would love it. Yes. We should have a special segment.

Antonia Bowring: 26:39

All right. I you know, stand up is a lot of work. And I had to stop it. My burgeoning career to focus on my book. Come back. There

Jason Feltman: 26:50

you go. Well, let us tell you why. Yes, let's do it. Let's do the joke. I love it.

Antonia Bowring: 26:56

So it's kind of more like a thing. And so why does my 94 year old mother in law eat organic eggs? Right? Why would you spend 899 to live longer when you're now you save some money.

Jason Feltman: 27:23

That's right.

Antonia Bowring: 27:25

And you know, her birthday is coming up. But I just decided she couldn't couldn't be on the planning committee. Because there's a 50% chance she won't even be there. And I'm also trying to make sure that we get like napkins and cups that don't say happy birthday. So that if there's like a funeral, we can you know, dip in them and use

Craig Pretzinger: 27:49

smart.

Jason Feltman: 27:52

Happy Day.

Craig Pretzinger: 27:54

Happy day. That was good. But how about happy blank day and you can just write in? Yeah, dry erase, or

Antonia Bowring: 28:04

cheers.

Jason Feltman: 28:05

Cheers. I like that. Cheers. Yeah, that was

Antonia Bowring: 28:09

off the top of my head, by the way.

Craig Pretzinger: 28:14

You must be you must have a Pentium over there.

Antonia Bowring: 28:17

What does that mean? That's

Craig Pretzinger: 28:19

an old old computer.

Jason Feltman: 28:21

It's an old processor.

Antonia Bowring: 28:23

What does that mean? I'm an old pro.

Craig Pretzinger: 28:25

I don't even know. No.

Antonia Bowring: 28:31

Nice interview and now you're wrecking it.

Craig Pretzinger: 28:36

We went too long. It's the it's like the Cinderella with the pumpkin. If we get after the 55 minute mark. Then I just start saying nonsense.

Antonia Bowring: 28:43

Okay. All right. All right. Listen. Thanks. That was like so much fun. I can't even believe it. Thank you, Antonia. All right. How do I know when it goes live? Somebody will tell me. Yeah, your people will talk to Mike. Our people will talk to your people.